Something like that I’d describe the point of telling to a man what major impact the feelings for him had on you. His brain is not capable to absorb such complex information. More you give him to digest, to meditate on, the bigger the error message would be… you’d receive a “we are sorry…connection was suddenly interrupted…” message and that’s it. He’s gone. You lost him and you can’t even blame him for that. He is SIMPLE.
He felt like losing control because of you and that’s when his brain will give him instructions to back off and give up. Immediately retreat!!
No point of going further. Of fixing anything. Of trying to draw, sing, scream or show your feelings. No point in trying to understand him either. Useless. He just knows what HE WANTS and everything else is just dust in the wind. Being in a relationship for him is a matter of meeting needs. HIS NEEDS. That’s it! Like driving a speedy, beautiful car in what he thinks it is the most important car race of his entire life: to survive!
It has nothing to do with love! It has a lot to do with passion, but not with love.
And you just gave him too much water when he wanted to eat. His survivor instincts will take the lead and you are going to be left behind. With no right to reply, with no right to a moment of figuring out what the hell just happened. He will go out there to feed himself. Find whatever he needed so badly to have: sex, food, fun, silence, a threesome or a “part of him”. To him is not about wanting THE ONE. It was never about that. Too scary. Too frightful. But to satisfy some needs. Selfish, surviving needs.
And in most cases you wouldn’t even know what the hell the problem was because he never told you what he really wanted. He was never direct. But if he loves you, he will never let you know WHY. He will think in his simple mind that silence is the best way. To avoid drama. To avoid hurting you. By the time you’re struggling to understand, he’d be long gone. Chasing other cars.
And he will run and hide from you because he wants to leave behind a blur image of you loving him for being something that he never was. Let him go! Let him have that. If you love him, let him get what he wants. Let him be a bit of a man for somebody else if he wasn’t capable to be one for you.
That’s the moment when you have “to keep moving forward, to keep moving through your pain, to pick yourself up” and keep living your life. Even if you don’t know how it is your heart supposed to beat without him, you just have to keep moving forward. Keep on smiling and sharing your love. Not because you are strong, or because of cliches like “life is beautiful”… and is not because you might believe there is something out there “different” either…there isn’t…
But keep on flying and don’t look back! Otherwise you’ll just crash!
Planes don’t have rear-view mirror. Cars have. And he’s not a pilot! He never was, even if he always dreamed about it. In reality, he’s a driver and you’re a plane!
As SIMPLE as that! 🙂
I think I’m gonna throw up… I’m sure that if I’m gonna hear this phrase again, I’m gonna throw up: “For men, love goes through their stomach”. This being said by a man which I used to consider a smart one. I used.
Ok… let’s start all over again! I don’t like dating. From the bottom of my brain, I really don’t like dating. I consider dates a waste of time, energy and most of the time, money. They bore me to death! Same questions, same speeches, same “ASL PLS” type of phrases “Age…Sex…Location, please!”
I’ve been always a relationship kind of person or a single one. In fact, basically I’m quite a loner. Why? Well?! What can I say? I like listening to my thoughts. And I don’t like being disturbed in the process. :)) In fact, I very rarely choose a man for a relationship… some say I have too high standards, some say I’m crazy… Me? I say that only one type of relationship is appealing for me: the wild one. And let’s say that I like to just go with the flow. If it happens to be an interesting flow, I go and I stay with it, if not, well… I’ll pass. Too “domestic” for me.
I gave up dating since I was in high school when after 15 or 20 “dates”, I saw that the only scope of those was for boys to get laid. It had nothing to do with my very sensitive way of being I had back then. Not that now I am not so sensitive anymore, but let’s say that now I also know the meaning of an “one night stand” in case the circumstances really require it.
That is also not really satisfying either, but comparing to “dating”, I definitely prefer this one. But that’s another story.
Coming back to what and how love interferes with man’s stomach, I must say that I need a draw to understand how does this work. Cause it obviously still works, since the speech is still annoyingly out loud said by men. Even by the smart ones!
Last time I heard that, my first thought was: “Dude! Are you hungry? Learn how to cook!” The best chefs in the world seem to be men anyway! Why going through the entire hell of making a woman fall in love with you and eventually marry her just to make sure that at the end of the day your belly is going to be satisfied? Well… your belly and your penis, of course! But if the second one became more and more optional these days, the first one seems to still be mandatory! This is madness!
I will exclude now the already married couples or not… those had already established a deal as it seems. The woman cooks, man eats, they have sex once in a while, life seems to be beautiful and shinny. Or whatever…
I am talking now about the what they like to call their selves “hunters”, even if I’d call them “hungers” more likely. A piece of advice from a hunter to another hunter? It’s a major turn off! I don’t know about the others, but for me it’s a major turn off! Talking about food being the key to a man’s heart, it’s the same thing like saying “for women, love goes through your pocket”. No difference at all. Who said that they all want your hearts anyway? 🙂
So… to all the bellies it might concern: next time you go to a date with a woman and decide to talk about food, make also sure that your pocket is full.
After all, beside love, it seems that nothing is for free…
Or so they keep saying that… 🙂