How many there are? Not so many… or at least, I don’t see too many men or women to stand for it anymore… it’s being treated more and more like a disease, like a virus or something. It’s called very simple: LOVE and yet it seems to burn and consume you until the last cell of your brain. And here is the trick. Its flame seems to get your brain tossed in such a way that you don’t feel like a human being anymore, but like an angel and demon in the same time. Like an alien. Its warmth makes your body vibe to any blink of an eye, a sound, a whisper, or a single word coming from the one you gave your heart to. The one who “infected” your brain and now posses your heart.
Your head-quarter became a heart-quarter.
Nothing seems to be more important than the one who gave you this disease and if you are an egotistical type of person that is going to scare the crap out. You are going to be so scared that you will feel the need to run. As fast as you can. Where? Nowhere…just somewhere… it doesn’t matter. And you will begin to search the strongest antivirus ever put out there on the “market” for this kind of situations.
You will try to reactivate your brain like a generator by pushing any rational button and yet even if that green light of the sign EXIT will work for a while, and you will be SAFE, it will then fade away and behind its closed doors you will find yourself again in the dark, alone and scared not knowing how the hell you got yourself trapped again. The funny thing is that in that moment your only chance is to start looking for THE ONE, ANOTHER ONE.
But too many speak against it. Too many forget its benefices. Too many are afraid. Too many haters. Too many make me sick just looking how they struggle in front of their feelings and then they smile in a fucking freak way, like some sort of winners in front of LOVE. Mind won. Heart lost.
But how can LOVE survive to the power of MIND? Of EGO, FEAR, OUR OWN INSECURITIES. How can we HEAL? How can we make it last? How can we make it stop when it hurts so bad? What does exactly hurt so bad? What comes after?
While I struggled after each love story to find the answers to these questions, at some point (a long time ago!!) I stopped. I surrendered. I loved a man with all my heart and soul. I abandoned myself to the passion and feelings I had for that man, entirely, completely until I found the bottom of my brain and I started to feel my heart. Then I let it speak my mind. It’s own mind.
The reason why I did that was because in my heart I am and I will always be just a child. A very curious one. But I was afraid too. God knows how scared, lonely, lost and afraid I felt sometimes. But my heart was too curious to learn, to see where this burning fire takes me. My mind was too thirsty, my body too hungry not to give in to the temptation, to taste its taste. I willingly accepted to have this virus implanted into my heart and I never regretted it. Cause it made me happy. Extremely happy.
And then when it stopped, I loved another man… even more than the one before… and then another one. I practiced love instead of questioning it knowing for sure that this will bring me in the point I am today, the day when I say that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
The point when I say that there is no monster in the closet. I have been brave enough and I opened the god damn closet many times now. I can say today loud and clear that there is nothing to be afraid of. You don’t know it maybe, but your heart has an impressive way to regenerate and if you let yourself go on its flow you will feel, taste, create and reach edges that only in your sweetest dreams you would have dreamed to touch them.
You are going to be judged because of doing that. Most will try to “SAVE” and “HEAL” you. Many will push you away and deny you. Others will call you crazy. Don’t listen to them. And don’t stop! Just don’t stop. Let yourself “infected”. Keep on walking against your fears and open that closet. Your heart closet. You might be surprised of what you’ll find there.
Cover your ears, close your eyes and stand up for your heart. Turn its volume on and let LOVE be your guide. Let it speak for you and that, my dear friend… it will set you free.