Something like that I’d describe the point of telling to a man what major impact the feelings for him had on you. His brain is not capable to absorb such complex information. More you give him to digest, to meditate on, the bigger the error message would be… you’d receive a “we are sorry…connection was suddenly interrupted…” message and that’s it. He’s gone. You lost him and you can’t even blame him for that. He is SIMPLE.
He felt like losing control because of you and that’s when his brain will give him instructions to back off and give up. Immediately retreat!!
No point of going further. Of fixing anything. Of trying to draw, sing, scream or show your feelings. No point in trying to understand him either. Useless. He just knows what HE WANTS and everything else is just dust in the wind. Being in a relationship for him is a matter of meeting needs. HIS NEEDS. That’s it! Like driving a speedy, beautiful car in what he thinks it is the most important car race of his entire life: to survive!
It has nothing to do with love! It has a lot to do with passion, but not with love.
And you just gave him too much water when he wanted to eat. His survivor instincts will take the lead and you are going to be left behind. With no right to reply, with no right to a moment of figuring out what the hell just happened. He will go out there to feed himself. Find whatever he needed so badly to have: sex, food, fun, silence, a threesome or a “part of him”. To him is not about wanting THE ONE. It was never about that. Too scary. Too frightful. But to satisfy some needs. Selfish, surviving needs.
And in most cases you wouldn’t even know what the hell the problem was because he never told you what he really wanted. He was never direct. But if he loves you, he will never let you know WHY. He will think in his simple mind that silence is the best way. To avoid drama. To avoid hurting you. By the time you’re struggling to understand, he’d be long gone. Chasing other cars.
And he will run and hide from you because he wants to leave behind a blur image of you loving him for being something that he never was. Let him go! Let him have that. If you love him, let him get what he wants. Let him be a bit of a man for somebody else if he wasn’t capable to be one for you.
That’s the moment when you have “to keep moving forward, to keep moving through your pain, to pick yourself up” and keep living your life. Even if you don’t know how it is your heart supposed to beat without him, you just have to keep moving forward. Keep on smiling and sharing your love. Not because you are strong, or because of cliches like “life is beautiful”… and is not because you might believe there is something out there “different” either…there isn’t…
But keep on flying and don’t look back! Otherwise you’ll just crash!
Planes don’t have rear-view mirror. Cars have. And he’s not a pilot! He never was, even if he always dreamed about it. In reality, he’s a driver and you’re a plane!
As SIMPLE as that! 🙂