…you are supposed to be wiser… maybe you are… maybe you are not…
…you are supposed to be more responsible… again, maybe you are, maybe you are not…
I think you are supposed to be many things when you get older, which of course, is not necessarily a bad thing, but let’s say I’ve never been a “you have to…”, “you should”, “you are supposed to be..” type of person… on the contrary… more I would have heard this kind of statements, more I wanted to be… different.
After everything I had the chance to live by now, I can definitely say that getting older is one of the greatest gift life could have given to us. I found randomly some videos with me almost 10 years ago… I smiled and said to myself how great I am. Apparently beside the color of my hair, a tattoo and some extra wrinkles, it seems that almost nothing has changed. And yet it did. A lot!
Back then, looking into my eyes, you could have very easy seen the HOPE. Hope of reaching one day all of my dreams I was secretly keeping inside of me, without telling anyone about them. Many of them I didn’t even have the courage to spell them, that unusual and wild seemed to me then. I was too afraid to do that. And yet I had my will. I knew that one day I’ll reach them all and maybe even more.
I did great! With no buts or maybes. With no false modesty, I did great. I got to the point to enjoy the results of making my dreams to come true and the feeling is awesome. Knowing that there is no “bau-bau” in the closet where I kept for many years all my secret wishes and dreams it was for me the biggest relief and discovery. Because suddenly you realize how limitless everything is if you have faith and courage to overcome your fears. If you are willing to work hard for everything you are aiming to.
What a wonderful feeling is to finally know that in fact we never lose, but we always win if we keep on going. If we don’t stop walking on the path we are on. Even if we’ve chosen one which has many stumbling stones. As in real life, many like climbing, other nice walks in the woods or romantic ones on a beach at the sunset moment. I am a mixture of all these. Sometimes climbing rocks, sometimes taking relaxing walks in a wood just to hear the sound of my own soul, sometimes diving into the flow of my thoughts… no matter which landscape you’d prefer, life will always reward you… if you have patience.
At least, it for sure did so with me and for that I am grateful. I am grateful for the fresh air I am breathing every morning, I am grateful for the sun which touches softly my wild heart… I will always be grateful for the life I brought on this planet, a wonderful daughter that turns my rainy days into colorful rainbows… I am grateful for the joy I still feel like a child when I know I am about to finally get what I so wanted for a long time. I am grateful for life itself.
I am grateful for all the choices I made in my life and the changes which came along. Beautiful changes that make me wonder how will I be when I’ll turn… hmmm… let’s say… 45? I guess, that must be a very interesting age to have! Old enough to let go your silly fears and ego, but young enough to still feel butterflies in your stomach when… well… I guess I’ll see when that will happen… 🙂