It’s hard to tell how I managed it… maybe because I became self-sufficient… or maybe because I am just self-centered… one thing is for sure though: life has never been sweeter or kinder then it is now to me. And funny, but I don’t really have the whole package I once used to fancy about when it came to the definition of happiness and life.
If I go deeper, I am tempted to think that it is about the age, the experiences that I had and I’ve tried to learn from, but all in all, I became one of the persons I never thought I will ever become: ME… and finally everything makes sense!
Absolutely every single thing! Especially the persons I meet and why I meet them. Suddenly I am not afraid anymore to make choices because I know that no matter which path I’ll choose is anyway the right one. For one of the multi versions of myself is exactly the right path.
I still get sometimes lost in colors, bubbles, clouds and sun shines and my mind still asks me from time to time what is the purpose of everything. But as a mother and a woman who has chosen to do whatever she FELT like doing and despite all the heavy stones that were put in her way, I can say that life couldn’t have given me a better reward than the one that I got: the feeling of not being afraid anymore… of my own choices. The feeling that like in a video game with multi levels, life will repeat for you some certain chapters until either you give up the game, either you continue or you change it . It depends only on you.
If you don’t like the type of game, you are always free to choose another one. It’s like painting from scratch your own paint. Of course, starting all over again and learning new game rules is not easy, in fact it can be very hard and frustrating. Many will not give up, but will continue the same boring game they got used to, just because… and reasons are thousands and all make sense… to them!
Few will give up and probably those will get born again. But only a few will really change the type of game. Only a few will say that life is more than that! Only a few will think that it’s possible! Only a few will refuse to play the same exhausting level that seems to go nowhere… only a few will reinvent their selves each time they will feel that it is time for a change…even if that would mean to bring changes also to their selves, they will not be afraid anymore… because only a few will KNOW!
And those will be the only ones who will still believe like some silly children that in the end, LOVE really WINS it all! 🙂