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Starting the 5th grade I have been always either “deeply” in love with a boy, either I had many platonic relationships with so called “boyfriends” until I met my future that in time became ex husband, either I took the challenge to see what is about being the lover of a married man or I tried the one night stand that many say that at least once in your lifetime you should try it, either I’ve enjoyed the benefices of a different kind of… friendship…

All in all I could say that I passed through all the stages… I liked them, I lived them, I consumed them till the bottom of my heart, I put them in one corner of my soul, sometimes I still smile thinking how dumb I could be when I fall in love, but none of them made me STAY… I constantly had the feeling that there is more out there to learn, to live, to feel… I knew that right after each corner there is something even better, even more extraordinary than that, so I never stopped looking… until I decided to be ALONE or how I like to call it… “emotionally UNEMPLOYED”…

This is a phase that either you choose to live it, either life will force you to do it… it will close each door, one by one and you will think that that is the worst time of your life… you will see no future, past will suddenly not matter anymore and present will be an amount of hours spent looking around you, but not “seeing”, hearing, but not listening, feeling, but not touching…

Like many others, at the beginning I had the tendency to panic at the idea of getting in that point and I struggled not to get there… some beg, cry, or on the contrary they get angry, ill, sad, depressed and they could get obsessed with the question “what am I going to do now that I am …ALONE??” Horror. Terror. Physical pains. Some are so desperate that they will just exasperate with their loneliness any person who makes the mistake to try to listen to whatever they are whining about… they are just like a person who’s about to get drawn and the survival instinct tells them to try to hang on the other one, not realizing
that they might drawn that one too in their own …fear…

Different “opportunities” will come along and you are going to be tempted to accept any offer JUST NOT TO BE ALONE ANYMORE… that’s the trap… if you manage to control your impulses and fear, what comes next is an extraordinary gift given by the Universe who’s rewarding you for your faith and patience…

It’s like a huge door opening, but this time pushing you back toward yourself, to origins, to your soul… it is a wonderful journey which if you are willing to take with its ups and downs will reward you with great moments of joy and happiness… just BECAUSE…

…and one day you’ll be feeling a bit nervous, a bit impatient, naughty like a child and listening with enthusiasm to the silence around, trying to hear the whispers of your soul and looking into the eyes of a Stranger, you’ll smile because in few seconds finally your train is going to come and you’ll just know that that is going to be the real adventure of your lifetime.

In that day, all you have to do is to… STAY! 🙂

 

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