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I remember it… each time it happened… I remember it so clear as it happened yesterday… It was a moment, just a moment… when I could have said “No, I won’t go there, I won’t cross that line”… because I knew it… no, no… let me rephrase that… it’s more like I felt it each time that I am going to get lost and that it was not going to be easy to find the way back to myself again…

And yet I did it… each time! Each time that I had the opportunity, I fell literary crazy in love… I let myself go, completely ignoring the desperate signs that were practically waved by my eye-mind in front of my physical ones…

I never understood why I gave in to the temptation, when I knew it from the first time that I was going to get myself burnt… what kind of force pushed me to do that… and yet I did it… I let myself burn like a candle because of it, but each time I shinned even brighter than before thanks to it… just like a diamond!

I never said after that I won’t ever do it again… I had my doubts, I cried, I cursed, I thought I would never be able to believe in it anymore, but I never said I won’t do it again…

Because in front of life, in front of stumbling stones, in front of the dark roads, in front of the deep, scary fog my soul got into after each time I allowed it to do it, every single time LOVE was the only thing that determined me to reach out for more. To be brave enough and keep looking… even if I got really wounded, even if sometimes I had the feeling that I bled out of feelings, even if everybody thought I was going mad or something, as long as I felt that there is something more to reach for, I did it… I kept on walking through those woods… stubborn and relentless I kept on pushing, asking for more, waiting for more, crying and begging God for more…

And I was right… it has been always place for more… and even if I didn’t know how or when it was going to happen, unseen doors kept opened for me… at the right time and in the right place… thanks to it… thanks to love and its amazing force to bring together two souls and bodies exhausted by the games mind put them through… and the feeling was each time amazing… it compensated absolutely every moment I felt I won’t be able to make it… every second I had to wait, to trust, to believe…

I was each time rewarded with feelings, moments and “universal gifts” that I never thought I’d ever have the chance to receive… to live… or feel…

Life is a journey they say… sometimes you do it by car, sometimes by train, sometimes you fly…sometimes you need to swim or run, but sometimes you just walk… you take a long walk and even if your feet hurt like hell, even if you would die if you didn’t stop at least for a while to catch your breath, you have to keep on walking…

Because if life is a journey, love is your companion through it… and it never lets you down, if you BELIEVE in it! You’ll fall hard and deep, you’ll fly high and far, and you’ll get very tired every time, but at the end of each “travel” you’ll be strong enough to want for more… to dare for more… because deep down your soul, you’ll know that there is always room for more!  🙂

 

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