“Hard to say…”
“Because it’s…just hard to say!”
Silence. The girl looked around. The room seemed smaller. The ceiling too close. The air hard to breathe and he was looking at her as if he was expecting a better answer than this one.
“Stop looking at me like that!” she said, stood up and went to watch by the window.
“Why? It bothers you?”
“Hmm… why do you think is that?”
“Stop acting like a fucking therapist…you are pissing me off!”
She looked at him and smiled sarcastic knowing what he was trying to do… she raised her eyebrows, closed her eyes, then opened them again and said:
“You are my friend and I care about you, but stop doing that! I know what you are trying to do!”
“You do?” he looked at her and while he seemed a bit surprised by her answer he continued: “I’m not really doing anything! I’m just putting some questions.”
“Oh…yeah…just putting some questions…well… stop putting your questions!”
“Listen to me! You are a smart woman, I don’t have to say to you that you are heading to a big, dangerous waterfall. I just want to make sure that you know what you are doing! It’s not one month, it’s not a year…but almost four freaking years! I’ve never seen a woman so passionate about someone like you. I mean, you’ve always seemed to have an extra “feeling” that others don’t have it and you do seem to “see” some things that others don’t, but for God sake, this time I think you are wrong. Very wrong, girl! I see! I’m a guy! He moved on! He doesn’t give a shit! If it’s not this one, he will continue his game with another one. There are plenty of fishes out there! That’s the rule! And look at you: you make a step, you smile, you say something and you already can pick at least three guys who will want to be with you. Why this one? He’s completely fucked up and you…well.. you have…something… that seems to drive everybody crazy about you!”
By the time he finished his sentence, she felt like his increased sound of his almost angry voice made the air in the room even heavier to breathe than before.
She looked at him, straight in his eyes. Right in that very moment she whispered almost scared: “Hope!” Her big brown eyes got immediately wet, she opened her mouth to continue, but all words seemed to vanish in that heavy air.
After a long, embarrassing silence she said with a soft voice: “Don’t go there! Yes, I’m heading to a waterfall. Yes, I’m not sure how and what I will do in case I am wrong. Probably I will drawn. Or maybe I will survive. I don’t know why, but I gotta do this. No matter where this road will take me, I have to go on it. It’s my life journey, these are my mistakes! And you can’t stop me! There is nothing there, I have nothing to offer. All these years, I thought your friendship has no other purpose than the obvious one! Don’t change that thought! Don’t make me choose!”
He looked at his left side, in the left corner of the room as if he was trying to find the right line for that sad, weird life scene and in the end he said: “Ok! Ok… don’t get so warmed up! I guess in this case, we will keep in touch, right!? I gotta go now! Have to go through some presentations for tomorrow! See you! Take care!”
He kissed her polite on both cheeks and left her alone.
With tears in her eyes, she almost broke the window while desperately was trying to open it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath of fresh air.
The sun was setting down.