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footprint“It’s the area covered by something, generally speaking…” the girl looked at her friend somehow surprised by her question. In the very next second she stood up and went on the terrace. The fresh, but still warm autumn air gave her the impulse to stretch her hands up and she started to make easy moves, left and right in what seemed to be a failed try to relax her mind.

“And… ”

“Please stop right there… I am not interested to hear any of your theories… not today… If it had been somebody else who would have told me that, I would have not believed it, but I saw it with my own eyes. I don’t know that person that I saw today! And I realize that I never did!”

“Maybe you overreact a bit? The information is still fresh in your head, maybe you are mixing things up.”

“I knew something was wrong… I felt it… I just didn’t imagine it went so far… I should have trusted my feelings…”

The last sentence brought an odd silence between them, but someone could have easy told only by watching the way she was forcing her body to stretch that she would have yelled instead.

“I don’t want to say I told you so, and you know I don’t like the guy… he’s too… how should I say? …hmm… savage and superficial for my taste… but you’ve waited how much? How many years? For what? To end up thinking like this? I think you are wrong… this time, I truly believe you are wrong… you must be, because if you are not and if you are right then I’m screwed too… love indeed is a lie… a nice one, but a lie…”

“In this case it was…  love left no footprint in his soul…not a permanent one at least…” the girl stopped all of the sudden to catch her breath… then she looked at the autumn sunset embracing the tree with almost no leaves, standing still in front of her house… she covered her eyes and started to cry. She wasn’t making any sound, but she was crying. Rivers of tears were covering her cheeks and soft lips. Her friend wanted to go closer, but she stopped when the girl turned around and with a sad look, raised the palm of her right hand and showed very clear she doesn’t want her friend closer.

old treeWith slow moves that seemed more like a bad, hopeless dance in the middle of her yard, the girl made few steps towards the tree… for so many years it was the only one who listened her lonely thoughts, her prayers, who saw her pain and agony… all these years it was the only witness to her secret hopes and wishes… to her dreams…

She touched its brown bark. It was warm. She started to caress it as if it was a child. She looked up at the tree’s crown and she began to cry louder. With her right fist she started to punch the tree, at the beginning slowly, but more she was crying, harder she hit it. After few seconds she yelled… she yelled hard… again and again… two lonely birds standing on a branch and who were about to getting ready for the night coming ahead, just suddenly flew away… the sky seemed darker and colder… her cry wasn’t a cry anymore, was more like a dirge… her tears were burning her… her veins became more visible drawing small, blue rivers on her temples… her entire face was completely changed…

She left then her look down and stuck her forehead on the bark of the tree while she kept hitting the tree. She hit it like this until her fist started to bleed… she felt then that her entire energy seemed to be swallowed by the tree… she was exhausted… she fell down on her knees and still crying, with her eyes red and swollen, the nose full of tears and snot, she whispered with a tired voice:

“Why? For the love of God… why?”