…5 minutes... it doesn’t take longer than that. 5 minutes and I am right back in the same place I’ve been before: thinking about you. The difference? This time it doesn’t hurt, this time it doesn’t make me feel like a weak autumn leaf, this time it makes me smile.
Because for the first time in my life I know I’ve won because I’ve lost.
Because at least for 5 minutes I keep trying not to love you and that makes me love you even more.
Because those 5 minutes of silence, without you in my thoughts, I feel them like watching a cold winter landscape from the inside of a warm and cozy HOME.
Because I’m stuck with you in a 4 rooms “apartment”, full of mirrors and no matter how many doors I’m slamming behind my back, I still find you in one of the other rooms.
Because I am afraid, but I stopped running.
Because I’m hiding, but only so you can SEE me.
Because I’m prepared to let it go, but I don’t want to.
Because you don’t do it either.
Because I am still “hungry”.
Because the alternative of not needing you is “tearing me apart”.
Because even if I don’t know “what for”, I just “keep on trying”.
Because I am still in love with you! 🙂