“I’m not sure… I’m really not sure about that. Sometimes it can be so, sometimes it cannot!”
“You don’t think that they go hand in hand or what?”
“They should definitely go, but nowadays it seems that it is not a must to have in order for a marriage to work and you know that better than me!”
The girl with big brown eyes looked at her companion and felt how her words hit her right under the belt.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to…” she didn’t finish her sentence. The sadness she saw in that moment in Lara’s eyes practically forced her to swallow her words.
After few seconds of embarrassing silence, Lara looked at the girl, then down at her new shining shoes and then she whispered:
“No… no need for apologies!” (she sighed) “… the truth is that we make our own destiny and while we should not wait for it to come, we make all sorts of choices thinking that life will be easier if we could control it. I made my choice and looking back now, I realize how wrong I was. Love and burning passion were for me the monsters in the closet. I’ve always had nightmares thinking that I would never want my soul to be controlled by such mad forces, such powerful energies. I’ve been always afraid that I’d might get hurt. I didn’t want to suffer. I didn’t want to cry for love. And now I’m crying because of the lack of it. Isn’t that an irony? I don’t even know what love is anymore. All I know is that I feel… empty!”
The girl put her arm on her friend’s shoulder and smiled at her:
“It’s all coming back… always… I’ve learned that… you can avoid it few days, few months, few years, a lifetime! But it always comes back! No matter how old you are when that happens. It’s like our soul has a memory of love and when it gets fed up with the ordinary life we get lost in, it just hits us. “When God is happy he plays with us!” He gives us what we want, but not necessarily when we want. So we can keep in this way our faith… just don’t give up on yours!”
“Hmmm… maybe… but this thing that you call love doesn’t seem to be able to feed your body too… does it, my dear? You still need money for that, don’t you? I guess, I just wanted to make sure that I’ll never be hungry again.”
Lara’s eyes suddenly became darker… there was not even the slightest sign of remorse in them for what she just said.
“Silly dreamer… wake up! Life is tough… it doesn’t wait for you to see that whatever you feel now is just an illusion and it won’t last. The horse and the carriage changed in the meantime. You should be more selfish and choose to have an easier life. (few moments of silence) …. Ok! I hate to do that now, but I have to go… have to pack my stuff. We go to celebrate the last warm weekend of this year at our summer house. I’ll call you next week. I like listening to you talking about love. Bye- bye, my dear!”
Lara gave to the girl a big hug, kissed her on both cheeks and then she left.
The girl took a sip of hot chocolate and then looked at the sky. Autumn was definitely coming.