“When a man loves a woman he is the one coming to her, crawling in his knees to show how desperate he is without her, to ask her to marry him… When a man loves a woman he is her Prince Charming and she is the Princess that needs to be saved. He is taking his white horse (or expensive car!) and he goes after her, hoping he didn’t lose her forever since she said Goodbye!, acting in this way like a proud “bitch”, gaining his respect because she believes she deserves his ring on her finger”.
Such corny things, I swear!! Been there, done that! Ladies, gentlemen!!?? It’s a bullshit! An emotional one, but still a bullshit. And what makes me smile is that all these are still being told to me today by men who made an art of cheating their partners, but they always go back to them because it’s more comfortable like this, or by women who have never been able to show their “naked” soul to a man, but they’ve developed incredible skills to fake love better than faking an orgasm.
Let’s take the above scenario… let’s say the man will do all that… just because she is the woman, and because he is the man, he has no other chance than to be the one making all steps towards her, to show his love, ask her to marry him and then she will say “I do!” and she will be free to show her love too… and they lived happily ever after… let’s say about 2- 3 years… because at psychological level, no matter how big the love we are talking about was initially, and how ideal the above scenario might seem, she has from that moment an emotional advantage upon that man.
And maybe she will not use it immediately, but I can tell it for sure that after living together for few years, being used to be all the time saved, or even worse, being used that if she gets upset he will always be there for her, saying I’m sorry for something he doesn’t even know if he did it or not, she will gain more and more emotional power upon him and in the end either their sexual life will suddenly vanish, and they will not make love anymore, but only money together, either he will cheat on her in order to take back control. And that is a fact!
If she is the one who’s making all the steps towards him, then again she is the one having a huge emotional advantage and disadvantage in the same time upon/in front (of) him. And he will not avoid using it later! Either he becomes lazy and he doesn’t move a finger to work at that relationship, since she is doing a great job by herself, either he becomes her slave since he was not capable to stand for his feelings and his will and he let her do all the moves. Sometimes, she will also cheat on him in this kind of cases.
No matter how you put it, both options in my view are not good enough in order to build a strong relationship, even if, there are many which apparently function.
Me? I believe in two things: what I feel (some are calling it intuition) and the eye contact. I don’t need facts, I don’t need a man riding a horse, I don’t need bills to restaurants, I don’t need people’s opinion to feel and know if a man loves me or not… I just listen my heart and I look into his eyes. That’s it!!
But to make it work, I know today one thing: both partners need to WANT to make it work, show it and admit it!!! No egos, no games, no vanity, no nothing… in that moment, all that’s needed are their “naked” souls and their strong will to make it work.
But only love is not enough!!! When it is about true love between a man and a woman they will have indeed the perfect “tool” to save each other’s souls. Today she might be the sun cause he is the moon, tomorrow she might be the dark, cause he is the light… she is day cause he is night… she is anger when he is peace… she is sunshine when he is storm… black and white… yin and yang… and this is how they could melt and transform each other. After all, you don’t stick a key into a flat door… do you? You need a key and a hole in that door in order to open it.
When a MAN WANTS the woman he loves to be with him for good and worse (a man could love a woman, but he could feel he is not worthy of her, so he will not want her in his life!), she should BE HIS LAST CHOICE. He should meet as many women as possible before HER, so he can be able to recognize and see the truth inside of her and to know for sure that there is no other woman like her. Then, he needs to be worthy of that woman. Strong enough to hold her when she falls, but weak enough to let her see, and take away his fears when he needs it. And if he feels that he is able to do all that, he will not crawl back to her, but he will walk slowly, but proud, serious but happy, silent, but anxious till the half way and he will meet her there, where the water flows, at sunset in a childish, but warm summer day, to great not their happy end, but their happy beginning…
Cause when a WOMAN WANTS the man she loves in her life, he should be HER FIRST CHOICE: her Universe, he should be the boy and she the mother, she the girl and him the father, him her king and she his queen, and because she knows and feels all that… she should be already there… at the half way, just waiting for him to take his hand into her’s and learn together how to dance on the bridge of love…
Because it is wide known that the woman is the heart and the man is the mind… woman is the water and man is the cement… but only by wanting the same thing, something greater than them can be build… otherwise, it is just dust in the wind...