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“It’s almost 11:30 p.m… time is passing by so fast, isn’t it?”… she said looking into his black eyes trying to figure out how come they were shining so bright when their color was so dark…  they were “telling” her about his fear, his sadness, but also about his joy of being at the same table with her…

She sipped the last drop of red wine and looked at her right side, somewhere above his head, at the picture hanging on the wall behind him…

“I don’t usually drink red wine… I find it too strong… “, she said keep looking at the picture…

“One more glass?” he asked her with a soft voice knowing already her answer.

“No… thank you… I am a cheap drunk… I am already dizzy… it would be better for me to go home”…

“Already? Oh c’mon! Don’t abandon me here… not yet!… you don’t have to work tomorrow anyway… I insist… “, he said smiling while he was filling her glass of wine…

beach

She took her eyes off the picture and started to look at the way the red, dark wine was coloring her glass on which she left her red lips-prints… then she looked him straight into his eyes and she wanted to smile at him, but instead of that, she whispered with a bitter, sad sound in her voice:

“I’ve lost it! Somewhere… on the way… I’ve lost it! You know that, don’t you? You know that I would give you what you want, if I could. But I can’t… ”

He left his eyes down, his smile disappeared all of the sudden, he bitten his lower lip, and tightened his right fist as if he was getting ready to hit someone… she could have seen how his mandible muscles started to pulse, trying in vain to hide his anger gathered in his soul in the last months..

“I don’t understand how that is possible!!! It’s been such a long time since then!! Do I miss something here?”… {few seconds of silence}… “I can make you happy! Can’t you see that? Can’t you see that there is somebody right next to you, who really loves you, who is right there for you when you need it?? Who is actually PRESENT?”… he looked her straight into her eyes and his words hissed out of his mouth like the cold winter wind is hissing by the windows in a cold night of December…

In that moment her big brown eyes had been invaded by rivers of tears which were waiting for this moment to flow on her face, but she stopped them… she didn’t set them free… she listened the short moment of silence, looking at the huge space he wasn’t able to see between them, and then, while sipping a last drop of wine, she looked at the picture on the wall and said:

mistake (2)“He was just looking like my next MISTAKE, but it felt so RIGHT to be so WRONG, that even connected for a short time, I knew it! That was it!! I knew that the search stopped… the chain of mistakes had been broken… but in the moment WE vanished, he gave me no choice than to leave it there… with him. So… you see?!… he took it with him and there is no damn thing that me, you or anybody else can do about it…”{short moment of silence… she smiled like a champion who had just lost his first game, but who was happy about it and then she looked back at him with her wet eyes:}

“He was right! He has been cleverer than me!”

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