Tags

, , , , , , , ,

I feel danger before it comes! I feel its smell sometimes with few minutes before it really happens, few hours or sometimes with couple of days before…it depends on the situation. No! It’s nothing special about me… I am not a witch, I don’t have special powers, I am just one of those people who are paying more attention to this sense which, I am sure everybody on this planet has it. At the end of the day, we all are just survivors anyway.

When I feel it comes, I have two options: to run and hide or to go towards it, ready to confront whatever it comes… kind of staying out of the house when the storm is coming, instead of going inside. The philosophy? It’s all about energy, adrenaline, damages control and sometimes, why not?!… even saving my own life… and as we all know, sometimes is better to stay out of the house when the earthquake is coming, than inside. That’s for sure!

Usually I choose the second option for the simple fact that I don’t want to live in fear and let’s say that I like also a little bit the smell of the danger… the logic is simple: getting to know my own limits in dangerous times gives me the chance to live nice, relaxed and happy 99% of the time… things that could freak other people and create panic, they won’t even touch me… I already saw how real danger looks like, so life seems most of the time nice to me and I am really grateful for it, just as it is.

Since I was just a little girl, I was that kind of girl that boys would have wanted to beat or to punish somehow. Every time a boy would have liked me, this was the way to express it: fighting with me!

Of course, with the age, the fight reached different levels: from pulling each other’s hair, punching each other, breaking heads with stones, to threats of being sued, calling police or God knows what else?! calling “mommy” or “daddy” for protection 😀 … all things would have been nice and beautiful, life would have been great, if I hadn’t said at some point “No, I don’t want this way! I want things in a different way!”… so… as long as the man would have been the master and me the slave, things would have been just PERFECT…

Well… since I am not looking to play in a movie with the king and his slave, but with the king and his queen, after a trial time, getting to know each other better, if it is not what I need and want, I say NO. In that moment, I always become the enemy number one for that man and the fight begins… and now it depends on the man… if he takes it too personal, if his ego is really, tragically wounded, then it could get really ugly… if not the end it’s just a change of simple remarks like: “You are going to be alone forever! You are… bla bla bla- and here I heard different names!- and we could have had a…”… and here it depends again on the man, either it’s a friendship, either a happy something, but anyway, in the end, no matter what we could have had, suddenly he becomes the victim and me the worst bitch ever…

So… I don’t want to hurt nobody else more, taking him by surprise with my fighting skills!!! (many of them are not even expecting that such a small, good person- I am a very good person in fact, this is the paradox!-  could be, if needed, so feisty, and strong)… that’s why, I made a promise to myself, that to the next intelligent man who will attract me and knock me down with the way he is, he looks, he acts, he speaks, I will tell him to forget about the beginning romantic gestures and dinners, and I’ll ask him: “Do you wanna fight with me?”

… cause honestly, I prefer the fight first instead flowers, or different gifts, so I can see his worst, and check each other’s limits and compatibility, then to have some passion between the sheets (after a good fight, always sex is fantastic!) and romance in the end… like the cherry on the cake… something like that…

But I’m starting to wonder today, after seeing what I saw until now, if this kind of man who could understand this philosophy really exists… or finding him is just a mission impossible. Who knows? Time will tell… 🙂

Advertisements