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“What do you want from me?” I ask with a lazy voice, a bit tired, a bit bored, a bit annoyed of the persistent hunter I have right in front of me…

He looks into my eyes obviously surprised, not expecting this direct question from my side… he becomes silent for few seconds, he drags his body a bit back and he takes a deep breath… then he picks with his eyes the white corner of the room, the one from his right side, hangs on that one as if he is trying to find the right answer, he smiles and then he is looking back into my eyes and with a so not convincing voice he says:

“I want a friendship”

“With benefits?” I ask without smiling back, but looking straight into his eyes…

He blocks, and I can see already how his eyes pupils dilate, and he starts moving as if something is itching him…

“Nooo… nooo…. I want to have a REAL friendship with you…”

“Why?” I reply shortly…

“Because…”

The scene is not the same always, but the answers don’t vary too much… “You are a good person” (I could be very mean also… it’s a matter of choice, not of nature), “You are nice”, “You are a lovely person”, “I like the way you think”, “I like to discuss with you”, “I think we could learn things from each other”, “I want to help you” (I already became allergic to this one), “I want to give you my support” (hmm, that one was good!) are the answers that I get very often… Answers like “I think you need my male opinion” or “I think you want it as much as I do” really made me smile…

If I say “Well… I don’t want this friendship. Good bye!” hell comes down on earth and out of the sudden from that special woman, with a special thinking and special soul I turn into one “same like the others”, or I get speeches like “You will never find your soul mate” (Ha?? Very deep! I’m almost touched!), or “You are going to be alone forever” (brr… scary thought!! Can you hold me, please? Or better not! 🙂 ), or “Ok… I don’t even feel anything for you” (No way! I feel like crying!), or the best of them “You killed everything” (NO!!! OMG!! What a monster I can be!! 😦 )… Well… it seems that suddenly, by rejecting the generous offer, I become a “friendships murderer”…

So, feeling really guilty for wounding so badly somebody’s feelings (or trust in his male power?!), I decided to change my bitchy answer in a friendly letter that would sound like this:Image

“Dear BOY- “friends” (please note the term is referring to the status of “friends” of male gender),

Thank you for your honest and sneak less intention to be my “friends” and to connect at a very “high energetic” level with… my soul. 🙂 Taking this into consideration, it must be only my wrong impression of feeling a strong smell of pheromones and sexual tension coming from your side, and I don’t even see how each time I turn my back on you, your look goes down on my ass… Of course, the fact that you are always tempted to hug me so you can feel my “mountains”, or touching my leg while telling a funny joke (for me, that is not funny at all!!), it is to be considered a friendly approach of knowing each other better, of sharing everything together… not only thoughts, ideas, life philosophies… but hey! Maybe also bodies… friends share everything to each other, don’t they?

I am really flattered by this opportunity you are offering to me. I am sure it is meant to GROW and learn from each other. Still, I think I don’t really deserve your “friendship”. I am too selfish for that. I am the kind of person that follows her dreams, trusts what she feels and gets what she wants.

If I wanted a friendship with a guy, I would search for it in a gay community, in a very loyal married man who already faced his demons at women chapter, or at distance, so I can feel really safe and not hunted. I like hunting and seduction game, but if I don’t chose you for this game, your persistence really turns me off.

Don’t get me wrong! I love romantic gestures, intelligent discussions, gifts and nice dinners, but I consider them a waste of time and money if your only purpose is to convince me to become “friends”… they are definitely not necessary… not in this “friendship” stage and not with a woman like me… more you try, less I bite… cause trust me, if I felt like having sex with you (the “benefit” of having your “friendship”), I would not need to hide my wild intentions in a “friendship” packaging… In fact, I would be extremely direct and I would just ask for it…

My intention is not to collect boy- FRIENDS, but to share my dreams, my hopes, and my love with that special man who would knock me down and touch me deep in my soul with his wild eyes, full of desire for the woman that I am today, but filled with compassion, tenderness, kindness, protection, understanding, and love for the girl I hide in me, a man who would be brave enough to want more than a “friendship” with me …

Until that happens, please excuse me, I don’t wanna be rude, but what can I say? For the moment, I am busy and happy being alone… I prefer enjoying the benefits of abstinence, than those of a bitter, needy, casual “friendship”… it is just not for me… too ordinary… too superficial… too not challenging at all… too not going further than a bed…

Thank you for your time, and your “kind offer”. I think I’ll pass. Take care and I wish you to be happy.

With kind regards,

LoveHeimer”

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