Twinkle, twinkle little star…

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 “Soooo… here we are again!”

The girl looked with happy, childish eyes at her long time ago friend… she was whispering, she didn’t know why, but she felt like whispering… strange, magical words came out of her mouth like a pray: “An eisai ena asteri”

“What?”

A short moment of silence… she couldn’t believe her eyes… it finally happened… before she could have answered to his question, he continued:

“Wow! That was an evening with a lot of emotions, wasn’t it?”

She looked at his mouth and then into his blue, beautiful eyes…flash backs of everything of what just happened that night were invading her heart like a burning water flow forcing the walls of the castle she carefully built since she has been left alone like an orphan child, in the middle of a dirty street, in a cold day of winter… bricks from her wall were splashing heavy and melting into the burning water….the strange warmth she felt all of the sudden in her chest took her by surprise and she could not help thinking how kissing him felt so natural… so grounded… sun, moon, rising, water, air, earth and fire, God and angels in the same place… right there, in his kiss, in his arms, in his kind, beautiful look. He created all that! With his very first touch of his sweet lips she knew he will make it happen. What a beautiful moment! What an amazing energy, the way she surrendered into his arms as if she belonged to him right from the very start of their friendship…driving her on his motorbike, like two beautiful lovers who would share a secret love together, holding him tight, trusting him in those vulnerable moments, in that warm night of a late summer, those buildings, those lights, him touching her knees with tenderness and care, checking if she was cold….everything was absolutely perfect… he was perfect.

With her mind blown away, her body confused by his kisses and touches, and barely controlling the fire from her heart she said:

“Yes… it was!”

“Surreal!”

“Yes!”

Without realizing, she touched one of the piano notes while she said that…it sounded like the end of a theater act, as if the Universe would have pointed out that the moment was gone, but it just became one of the sweetest memories ever.

“And what are you going to do?” he asked her while looking deep into her eyes as if he wanted her to confirm to him that she will fight, she will take them both further, somewhere far away from their reality, somewhere where they could forget about this world.

His question was refreshing and realistic… with a soft move, she pulled him a bit away, trying to breathe normal again, but she could have felt how the blood was rushing into her heart, pumping it with thousands beats each second he would have tried to still come closer, as if he didn’t want to let her go or something…

“The Universe is magical… I’m sure that the right person will come along…I’m ready!” she said with a soft voice, trying to cover the sound of her thoughts: why did everything feel so right? So damn familiar… so natural? Was it possible? Could it have been possible…?

She didn’t get to finish that question in her head because he touched her shoulders with the palm of his hands and she felt weak all of the sudden… she couldn’t talk further…but then he said:

“It’s late. I have to go!”

She smiled at him… for the first time she wasn’t sad that he will go…the peace she found in his arms that night was somehow protecting her heart from this early, but inevitable Goodbye! of his.

“Yes! Go! Life is a journey! It’s alright!”

The door closed behind him…she smiled happy, made a twirl in her living room, then she went and opened the door of the balcony, watching him on his motorbike, vanishing in the dark of the night…the night was still young…the air was refreshing, but still warm…a tiny, little star was shining strong on the clear, dark blue sky… she loved that city…she loved the secrets it seemed to hide in it, each time the sun would go down…

She loved him!

by Loveheimer

 

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In your arms tonight…

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“You recognize it… as simple as that. You just have the feeling that this is it.  A new journey is about to begin, and you are all in. You are ready. It’s a feeling coming from the inside and making you scream for joy. And you do your best to stay still in those few minutes before your ship comes in. You are not afraid, but you are inpatient to start the new adventure with that man for whom you’ve been through hell and back, living before all sorts of disappointments, but then again wonderful, magic moments.

Life rewards those who are brave and keep on going. Those who keep on trusting. Therefore it will sooner or later give you its gifts on a diamond plate and you are going to accept them with a childish joy, knowing that you’ve worked hard to get there. With every day that passed by before meeting with him you’ve shaped yourself, trying to become the best version of yourself, you’ve learned to be happy by yourself and to getting ready for a new start. A new beginning. A new you.

And when he’ll touch you, when he’ll kiss you, you’ll know deep down your heart that all those that you ever had, seen, loved, wanted before him were meant to be there to help you finding him. And you will be grateful to them and proud of yourself. Grateful that they helped you in your journey, they helped you to grow, and proud that you’ve been brave enough to open your heart to every each of them and you’ve loved them with all your heart, giving them the best of you, but then again just a part of you. They all reflected you in one way or another. They all brought you one step forward, one step higher.

And here he is. Staying in front of you, smiling at you as if he knows you, even if you’ve never really met before. And yet you somehow did. That smile… those eyes… those hands… his boyish, but apparently relaxed walk…I don’t know… everything about him reminds you of… you. Woman, mother, girl… all these sides of you will be one and the same in front of him. They will all come together, and you will feel like a gentle flower when he will come closer to smell and touch you gently with the palm of his hands. A fine feeling of protection which you never felt before. A feeling of safety which somehow makes you believe that no matter what burdens life will bring to you both, you will be alright. You will maybe sometimes feel that you’ll just want to run away, but somehow you will never walk away. You’ll stay there with him, practically melting in his arms every night, growing in your love, easy, but so nice that even angels from the blue, shiny sky will envy you for that. “

The girl with big brown eyes looked at her friend and before saying anything else she started to laugh naughty. The friend said:

“Wow…daaaamn, girl!!!! You’ve got talent, really! You should write a book. You’re really good. And he sounds damn magical! Forget about the angels…I almost envy you! You are blessed!”

The girl smiled… her brown eyes were shining. She was all joy. She was beautiful.

“I think I am… yes… I think somebody up there really loves me! Love is beautiful!” 🙂

by Loveheimer

 

Guilty LOVE

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“Hmm…you think so?”

“Yes… actually I do! He can’t just forget she made it possible… she created a miracle for him and that is not just something you forget overnight. It doesn’t have to be true love, but that’s not the idea anyway.”

A moment of silence… before saying anything else, the girl with big brown eyes looked at the blue, red, violet sky. It was a beautiful summer sunset. The temperature was perfect. Everything around her was perfect. The music on the boat, the landscape, the dance between the blue waves and the sunshine, the lovers around her and their entire mood. They were watching that beautiful sunset and holding hands, celebrating in silence their love, or any other kind of connection which brought them in that place, on that boat, in that evening.

It was magical.

Fotografia postată de Love Heimer.

Her mind was quiet. Couldn’t really agree with her friend, but she couldn’t disagree either. It was like understanding why some things happen in the way they do, didn’t even really matter. Not then. Not there. And one thing was for sure: nothing of what was happening could have changed what she felt. She didn’t need explanations or excuses. Things were the way they were, it was not like she could have changed anything, but for one reason all she felt in that moment was that love has indeed its magical, wonderful power and she has nothing else to do than to surrender to it. For the first time in her life, even if she didn’t see any purpose at all, she just accepted the truth of her heart and she didn’t feel the need to fight that feeling anymore.

She looked at her friend and then again at a very young woman and a very rich, older guy sitting on the deck of the boat. He was opening a bottle of champagne and in that beautiful sunset light you could have seen the fine ring mark left on his ring finger of his left hand. He was wearing black swim shorts and some (probably) very expensive sun glasses. In his mouth, somewhere in the left corner of his not so sensual lips, he was holding a cigar. His body was not really an athletic body and he was not really a tall, attractive man. Bald and with a tiny ass, for the young lady he was trying to mesmerize that evening with his romantic moves and tricks, that didn’t seem like an important detail. She was definitely enjoying the moment. She was a very young woman with a fresh body, blue eyes and long blond hair. He was smiling at his prey in a “I am the king of the world, babe” kind of way and like some love birds who seemed lost in something which seemed to be their first escape and their first love scene, they were enjoying this romantic moment.

“Guilty love or not, everybody practices a kind of love. There are some, like these two who just need the romance, the illusion of love and not the daily shit he probably had the chance to live with his not so long time ago ex wife. They nourish each other’s body and taste the fruit of passion and they completely ignore the hunger of their soul, but there is no time or way to feel that in a place like this one. There are others who are extremely pragmatical and they choose a less romantic, but comfortable, functional relationship instead. Those are probably now, somewhere in a trip at the mountain, together with their extremely annoying kids pretending that they are happy and life is beautiful. She might look at his fat belly while he would prepare the grill, but thinking in the same time at all the things she has to do once they will be back home: the mess they left behind and that huge mountain of dirty clothes she would need to wash. During this time, he would probably enjoy his cold beer and his steak, doing his best to ignore all the noise made by his kids and pretending he is alone with his best friends, enjoying a boys night out, but that would not change the fact that in a very ordinary way, they actually practice a form of love too. A “let’s raise kids, get a credit, buy a small apartment, pay bills and be miserable together” type of love, but hey… who are we to judge if that’s ok or not? It definitely works for them, so nobody should speak against it.

There is a reason why women bring children on this planet and not men. They are capable of sacrifice and unconditional love. Men have their limits when it comes to love. They are extremely basic and they are very happy just like that. Whether we accept it or not, that’s how it is”

“What about you? What about what you feel? What are you going to do about it?”

The girl with big brown eyes looked at her friend… she was sometimes surprised by her naivety and somehow innocence and that made her smile. She looked again at the red, orange sky and she said:

“Me? (smiling… short moment of silence and smiling)… I would not worry about me, my dear… I have a little man inside of me!”

by Loveheimer

Chapters and true love…

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<“Do you like to cook?”

“No”

“But you cook, right?”

“No. Not for guys.”

“Do u like cleaning?”

“No. Who the fuck does?”

“Do you wanna have children again?”

“No”>

“Silence. You should see how big their little blue or green eyes get. A weird moment of silence which makes me feel like the most awful bitch ever. I swear, and I usually try to break that kind of embarrassing silence with a joke like “But I can fuck your brains out, if you want too”, but somehow, they never get this joke…and they always get scared then, don’t know why!”

“OMG!!! You’re awful!!”

The girl looked at her friend who started to laugh hard and loud and her laugh made the girl laugh too. They continued then their girly talk and exchanged different opinions about work, relationships, love, life in general. They always ended up with an entire philosophy around these topics, but then again, with no other conclusion that both can’t live without love…real love.

The girl with big brown eyes took a last sip from her hot chocolate and while she was searching her wallet for some money to pay the bill, she started to look at the couple sitting right next to their table.

“They seem in love”, her friend said and she smiled.

The friend started checking her pockets too.

“Oh, no. I insist. This time it’s on me. Next time you are in charge though” said the girl to her, she smiled and with a discrete look she called the waiter, paid the bill, gave a big hug to her friend and then she left. Time to embrace reality. Another reality.

On her way back, she kept thinking at the couple she saw at the restaurant. Even if she was seeing daily people hugging, kissing each other, there was something different at these two. They didn’t seem to have the need to prove anything to their selves or anybody else. They were just looking into each other’s eyes and it was like the Universe knew about their secret and decided to celebrate it by giving them the unique gift of recognizing each other’s soul only with one look. One simple, but such a meaningful look. He was looking at her like a boy looking at the Christmas tree in the Christmas morning. His face was so lightened, his look so alive! He was happy just for sitting there, right next to her. Just for being around her. But he also looked relaxed, and happy, like if she ever decided in that moment to finish their relationship, he would have been ok with that too. He would have missed her, but he would have known that what they had was beyond an ordinary love, so he would have loved her still and wished all the love and happiness to her, because he would have known that it was not over yet. And he would have believed that. After all, how could it have been over when it never really ended? The chapters were not the same, the journey was different, but not over.

And while the Universe would have given them further enough synchronizations and weird, but funny telepathy opportunities to celebrate their once very strong bound, he would have never stopped loving and accepting her just as she was. Not that kind of pragmatic, but apparently romantic love people practice every day, not that kind of “let’s have kids, pay bills and survive together” kind of love, but that kind of love that comes from a connection felt inside and goes beyond human basic needs. That kind of love that vibes so strong within someone’s soul that it manages to break down your walls with its strength, with its power and brings you in the same place, and yet further, on a higher energetic level and once again in his arms again.

The girl crossed a small street almost springing like a child and just when she got on the other side, her phone rang. She looked at the number, she smiled and pressed that green button that always seemed to take her immediately in another Universe when he was calling. A brief moment of silence, the curiosity of a child and in second two her breath has been taken away hearing the voice on the other end:

“Hey, babe! Where are you? The movie is about to begin!”

She smiled naughty, she looked at her clock and with a soft and what was supposed to be a sexy voice, she said:

“No, love… our movie has begun the moment you looked into my eyes for the first time.

You had me at Hello!”  🙂

 

 

 

 

Puzzles

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You’ve tried…you’ve done your best in staying still and waiting. You’ve waited a long time. Maybe too much time. You closed your eyes and hoped that by the time you would open them again he will be there again, right next to you, saying to you what you’ve waited for him to say during all that time.

A new morning, a new beginning like the ones before, the ones which your heart didn’t want to live or handle without him. Even if it knew how. You take that old puzzle out of that old closet and look at it again. Dust didn’t have time to cover it. Even if there have been years since he is gone. His memory is still like a fresh morning summer in your soul. Your troubled soul kept trying for him. Kept waiting and hoping that one day life will bring him back to you. And it did. But in the same broken version as the one you refused to accept before.

You sit down and try to imagine the final picture in your mind.  The “perfect” picture. Nothing. You see nothing. Even if you feel a lot. There is nothing at the other end. There is nothing left in your mind. Except memories. Some good, some sad.

“What do I do wrong? What is it missing? I seem to have all the pieces. The box is the good one. The number of pieces is exactly the one written on the box. Everything seemed to fit so perfectly until it didn’t anymore.” You torture yourself with questions for which you don’t seem to find the answer. Tired and somehow bored you leave the box on the table, you get dressed, you put your best outfit and go out. Hunting. It’s time to live again.

Wanted or not life moves on. Even if you thought he will manage to catch up. He won’t. He will never do. And even if he would, he would be so frustrated of doing something against his nature, he will start to resent you. He’s not built to understand your colors or why you’ve ever changed them in the first place. He has his own colors. He’s not built to accept other colors than his. He’s not built to need you. He’s not built to want you. He’s not built to love you. And yet he does. And he almost hates you for that.

But then, one day, you come back home from the jungle and you see again the puzzle on the table. Watching the shape of the missing piece used to make you sad thinking it was the one. The only one. Thinking that you could have done more to find it, understand it and complete the puzzle.

Puzzle

Now you look at it, and its box, you touch it and admire its imperfection. You smile reminding the effort, the passion and love you’ve invested to built it so far. Your eyes smile, your heart smiles, your mind smiles and all of the sudden you decide to take every piece out of the box and put them on the floor, on the table, on the couch, you just spread them around your house just like a child who’s hands are colored and touches with his palm prints all the walls, laughing naughty and being happy and proud of his accomplishment. You do that fast and you get so excited of the moment. You laugh and wonder why in the world didn’t you do that before. More you spread those pieces of puzzle around the house, more it gets brighter. Thousand of colors play now on its walls and floors. It’s magic. Then you throw some out of the window too. In the sun light and combined with the drops of summer rain all of those pieces create a beautiful rainbow. The rainbow of your soul.

And when you’re done, you look around and you finally see the picture. The big picture.

There is no box. There is no puzzle. There are no colors. There are no THE ONES. There is just you, your mind and your own limits and fears. Everything around you takes the shape of your soul or your mind. You choose.

The perfect puzzle is the one with 999 good pieces and 1 wrong piece in it. Otherwise the game will be over. And you don’t want to be over. The wrong piece is taking you to the next level. Next perfect imperfect level. The wrong piece is the key to your next adventures, next life chapter. That wrong piece is in fact the perfect one for the next puzzle.

Be wrong, be wild, be naughty and crazy. Be you!

Love will go on!

Loveheimer 🙂